Take Back Your Power
For so long I let other people define my strength for me. I let THEM define MY power. Whether it was my personal character, whether I considered myself beautiful, or intelligent, good enough, orworth it. I let other people define FOR me if I was those things.
And it was a shitty way to live.
It was a shitty thing to let the asshole guy who called me a "prude" or "not that pretty anyway" define my self-worth, instead of myself.
It's a shitty when your inner mean girl spins harmless comments made by loved ones to mean "I'm not lovable unless I'm skinny."
But how many of us hear things and do exactly that? Spin them into some awful bullshit story about who we are, and let THAT define how we see ourselves?
When I tried to change my health, a voice in my head would say, "Accept it. You're the fat friend. You're not one of those fit people..."
When I go out on a date or meet something knew, and I'd tell myself I'm confident, I'd hear "Please. You're nothing special. You're average looking at best. You're just going to make a fool of yourself.
When I try to commit to something, my freaking mean girl would chime in "Really? Again? What about all the times you've failed before? God - look at grad school?"
When I try to inspire people, I hear the words of people from my past that says, "Psh...please. You work out. Big deal. What makes you special?" or my own voice saying, "Seriously - you haven't even figured your shit out..."
I let all of these commentaries, no matter how WRONG they might be, define how I saw myself, and worse yet, how I LET others treat.
Oh my god - HOW EFFED UP IS THAT?!?! All of that horrible crap that I used to say to myself....
But, you know what, it's bullshit to continue to tell ourselves these stories...especially when there is so much proof of the opposite.
Life is not about FINDING yourself, it's about CREATING yourself.
And for me, my journey over the last few years has been SO much more about TAKING BACK my PERSONAL POWER.
From the people who's external validation used to define me.
From my own bullshit stories.
And by starting with my PHYSICAL strength, I found my emotional strength.
I found a girl who could look in the mirror and find things that she LOVED about herself instead of things she was DISGUSTED by.
And it was all because I did these 3 SIMPLE THINGS every single day:
-Plugged into a community of women who were on a similar journey.
-Spent time into strengthening my body
-Spent time into strengthening myself personally
This is my mantra now, because my physical strength transcended to my emotional strength. It gave me CONFIDENCE for the first time in my life.